FUN AND JOKE

Someone should please help me out on this.... My neighbour's long time friend just visited from the States and was about to leave when she beckoned on her kids and offered them $1,000....(360k). Only for these children to say "Thank you Ma, our parents warned us never to collect gifts from strangers." 🙄🙄🙄 Choi! my neighbour  almost shouted aloud- Which parent said  that to you?? Meanwhile, she was really loosing herself ooo... How can these children do this to us, as she kept staring at them Her eyes are still on her palms and trying to surpress the anger abi tears $1,000 cannot just  pass like that.  Should she loose the family tradition or what biko nu ooo. The lady is still there talking with them. My neighbour is just nodding and thinking  of how to remind the kids of the family  clause  that whatever Daddy did not approve does not apply. Or just call them out and try to convince them to go and collect this money and shun mummy's wa...

Husband: I lost my wife. She went shopping and hasn't come back. Inspector: What is her height? Husband: I never checked Inspector: Slim or robust? Husband: Not slim, may be robust. Inspector: Colour of her eyes? Husband: Never noticed Inspector: Color of hair? Husband: Changes according to season. Inspector: What was she wearing? Husband: Not sure if it was a dress or suit. Inspector: Was she driving? Husband: Yes. Inspector: Colour of car? Husband: Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 liter V6 engine 333 horse power, teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door... and...and... (starts sobbing) Inspector: Don't worry sir, we will find your car.. 😂 Abi what do you think he was really looking for..? His wife or his car..?😂

Time: 3Hrs 30MINS INSTRUCTIONS: 1 _ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS_ 2 _ALL QUESTIONS MUST BE ATTEMPTED IRRESPECTIVE OF GENDER_ 1. You are a married man and you have dated somebody's wife for two years, busy spending on her like there is no tomorrow.  eventually she drops you and concentrates on her innocent husband. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. (20 marks) 2. You bought a phone for your friend's wife and she gave it to her husband. Using trigonometric identities, derive a general formula for this type of love. (20 marks) 3. For Men You're dating around 15 ladies and every lady is demanding for a Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone 6s (a) Plot a graph of detoothers against prices of phones. (15marks) (b) Use your graph to estimate your future poverty (5marks) (c) Plot the percentage shame against volume of apologies to your family members.  (5 Mks) 4. You are whatsapping and facebooking other people's wives yet you don't want to see your wife on the social ...

A young man attended a Wednesday Night Bible Study and the Pastor preached about listening to GOD and obeying the Lord's voice. The young man couldn't help but ponder, 'Does GOD still speak to people?' After service, he went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the message. They talked about how GOD had led them in different ways. It was about ten o'clock when the young man started driving home, and he prayed; ' GOD...If you still speak to people, speak to me. I will listen. I will do my best to obey.' As he drove down the main street of his town, he had the strangest thought to stop and buy a gallon of milk. He shook his head and said out loud, GOD is that you?' He didn't get a reply and started on toward home. But again, the thought, buy a gallon of milk came. The young man thought about Samuel and how he didn't recognize the voice of GOD, and how little Samuel ran to Eli. 'Okay, GOD, in case that is you, I will b...

E get one particular restaurant wey i dey go chop 4 G.R.A. E get one oyinbo wey dey always come chop there too... Anytime dis oyinbo chop finish, he go shout ''Hey'', so I wonder wetin dey make am shout. I decided to chop wetin d oyinbo dey always chop so maybe me self go shout too. When I reach d restaurant yesterday evening, I order wetin d man dey chop. Dem tell me say na chicken & red wine, so i chop am finish, i no shout. I collect extra plate, but i no still shout. I say dis oyinbo na mumu o, wetin dey make am shout like dat? Na so i just vex ask 4 my bill. The waiter tell me say one plate of chicken & red wine na N75,000 then d extra plate too na another N75,000. Na then I shout hey! heyy!! heyyy!!!  heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyy...........Up till now, I still dey shout .... No laugh alone make someone laugh with u too..

- A horse was tied to a tree. - A demon came and released him - The horse entered the garden of neighboring peasants and started eating everything - The wife of the owner of the vegetable garden, when she saw this, took a rifle and killed the horse - The owner of the horse saw the dead horse, he became angry, he also took his rifle and shot the farmer's wife - On returning home, the farmer found his wife dead and killed the owner of the horse - The children of the owner of the horse, seeing their dead father, burned the farm of the farmer -The peasant, in retaliation, killed them all - They asked the devil what he had done, and he replied: I did not do anything. I just released the poor horse who was hungry. - The devil does simple things ... because he knows that with anger in the heart, wicked desires do the rest. - So we must always think before taking any act  Above all, avoid revenge. Wishing evil against others, wanting to solve evil with evil, etc. - ...

DEBATE OF THE NIGHT.... A man wants to marry from his village. He lives in Abuja, as a result he sent some money to his father in the village to find him a good wife. His father made a good choice and took all the necessary steps concerning the in-laws of his son. Now he decides to send the wife to his son in the city. He gives her the address of his son. But she arrived the city late. As she gets outside the motor park, the lady wanted to take a taxi to the indicated address. However, she was offered a lift by her husband unknowingly on his way home late from work. The guy took her straight to a hotel and spent the night with her. The next morning, each of them go their separate ways. She took another taxi which finally took her to her husbands house. To her biggest surprise, it's the man with whom she spent the night with in the hotel. The question is: : if you were the man or the woman, how would you react? Men and women, defend yourselves. The debate is open.... One l...

At a wedding ceremony the pastor asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn't go on; it was time to stand up and speak, or forever let them hold their peace. The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started slowly walking toward the pastor. Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom's mother fainted. The bridal trail scooted towards the door.The groom's men huddled together like a bereaved flock, wondering how best to help save the situation. The pastor asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?" The woman replied, "I can't hear from the back."😁😁😁😁😁😁😁 LESSON: Hold judgment until you've had all the facts. However, many times we fire the shots too quickly and beautiful relationships are ruined. Share with some one, I av done my part 🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀

There was a very brilliant boy. He always scored 100% in Science. Got Selected for IIT Madras and scored excellent in IIT. He went to the University of California for MBA. Got a high paying job in America and settled there. Married a Beautiful Tamil Girl. Bought a 5 bedroom big house and luxury cars. He had everything that makes him successful but a few years ago he committed suicide after shooting his wife and children. So, WHAT WENT WRONG? California Institute of Clinical Psychology Studied his case and found “what went wrong?” The researcher met the boy’s friends and family and found that he lost his job due to America’s economic crisis and he has to sit without a job for a long time. After even reducing his previous salary amount, he didn't get any job. Then his house installment broke and he and his family lost the home. They survived a few months with low money and then he and his wife together decided to commit suicide. He first shot his wife and children and t...

A Man missed his wife who travelled so much that he felt the matrimonial bed was too big for just him. So, he decided to sleep on the sofa, dining chairs and sometimes in the library. He even slept in the children's room and the guest room. When his wife came back, she asked the maid if her husband was Sleeping well. The Maid answered *"Madam, since you left, oga has been sleeping around o!"*. The woman fainted. See what Grammar can cause..

SEE HOW SOME PEOPLE MAKE GOSSIP SOUND LIKE PRAYER POINTS. They start like this.... " 😧People Of God, please let's remember Brother Tony in our Prayers o. He has Gonorrhea and doctors said they are even screening him for HIV too, but we know that our God can heal him... so brothers and sisters let's pray for Divine healing, pray.. pray.."😂😂😂 "Brethren let's also pray for sister Amanda and Brother Emma... Sister Amanda is pregnant for brother Emma but brother Emma is not ready for marriage now, you know they are not married right? Ok.... He told her to abort but she refused, the situation is tearing them and their families apart. Let's pray to God for peace and amicable settlement " 😂😂😂 "Children of God's kingdom, let's remember Mr and Mrs Addo in our prayers. Mr Addo left Mrs Addo, for one young sister Stella in the choir. That light skinned, slim sister that works in the Bank, Hmmm.. . Let's pray for God to restore Mr ...